Weak

Last second,
I reach forward to catch my head as it succumbs to gravity.
the weight of it in my hands makes my muscles quiver with the strain.
Slouching in my chair, spine curled, pain in red lines creeping
Navigating between the tendons and the muscles and the sinews of my shoulders.
Each step I'm walking in mud

Each attempt to shake off this iron coat
does little but crack joints and glaze eyes
The weight of my empty insides
causing my walls to cave and ceiling to crash.
I am walking in quicksand

The skin beneath my gray outer layers
is detaching itself from the rest of me, in search of someplace warmer

I am walking the bottom of the sea, dragging a medicine ball from each limb

Secret Keeper (revision 1)

My muscles are coiled
As fingertips grip the steel bar against the stage
The delicious tension warming the skin


We radiate as we reach for you, a shadow against the yellow lights
Chests pressed and aching to touch
Feels like making love
To a space heater


Targets are acquired and locked
With anticipation for ammunition
A thousand voices scattered and obliterated
With every ragged scream
The springs beneath the skin tremble in preparation
Soundtracks of restless breaths travel through my lungs
Between the silences
The dry burn of our thirst
Pushes us closer


Lights dim and we erupt in the heat
Music from a red room bleeds and pools in our outstretched hands
Melting from fingertips, licking through my hair like flames
I twist greedily in the sound
Pulsing and contracting
My chest rises and falls with every beat
Filled with your notes
Black floors soak sweat like a mattress
Like Vampires, we crowd in the yellow lights
We drink deeply and die

The Same Dream

He gives me a funny look.
I don't know there are holes in my smile
lifting my hand to my mouth, i spit 4 teeth
like stale halloween candy.
"excuse me please" i say, and rummage through my gym bag on the floor
in a vain attempt to find some glue.
I feel the wiggle and the weight with my tongue.
one more has fallen
I take the palmful of teeth and shove them in my pocket,
and continue with my tap dance audition
In an empty store
on the second floor of the South Towne Mall

Numbers

Slowly becoming obsessed between the space between .4 and .8
I calculate ounces, but i was never very good at math.
Exit the gates with speed and determination
Examine ripples and the soft dent of iron building behind the thick thick thick
But,
3 weeks stagnant, and resolve begins to waiver
Staring and obsessing over the space between my feet
Wishing i could weigh each bead of sweat
Green tea, peanut putter, banana
8 cups, 64 oz.
Ankles supported
Knees bent backwards like a broken coat hanger
.4
breathe, breathe breathe
.6 drink water,
More water, get rid of it, try again
Pressing palms into my sides
60 minutes, 600 salt drops
.4 .8
shit
oatmeal, beans, whey protein
trying to calculate the space between chocolate bars
but i was never very good at math
zippers laugh
don't panic, don't panic
sick on my knees
.2

God.

naked and staring at the space between my feet
12 more reps, increase the 8's to 10's
kick under desks, extend the knees
64 oz, portions portions
it's half past midnight.... don't panic, dont.
it's dark and beckons
no restraint
shit! not again...

on my knees
.0

.0

.0