Driving Home in May

in summer
i drive
exposed through car doors
music loud enough
to make the mirrors tremble
drum beats so thick
that i could wrap my shoulders
in a cloak of vibration
a coat of heartbeats
windows wide and wondering
if my road mates feel rhythm in their blood
if they tap their steering wheels
or simply nod
in the uncontainable expression
of the steady or the syncopated
I scan adjacent lanes for open windows
hoping they will hear
that they might feel the bass climbing up
past rubber soles and coiled shocks
and perhaps
amidst the rippling heat
of summer and exhaust
your pulse will find mine
and we will connect.

well...

turns out my husband hates poetry. Huh.

well, 'spose that's why i have a blog.

is there is someone out there actually reading all this tripe i'm writing? Hello?

i guess i'd like to think, in the most narcissistic corner of my little heart that someone reads, and possibly doesn't even think it's all complete crap.

i'll probably keep up with this, at least until the blogger gods decide to destroy my little space here. even if the only person who gets anything out of it is myself.. and of course you, Katie.

Us

we hear
we buy tickets
we punch faces in faceless crowds
we feel the ink on our skin or the taste of metal and dust in our mouths
we are the yellow in the sunlight
we soak in smoke and sweat and sounds
we are the heat in waves
we race and stumble and fall
we sing
we dance
we link our arms and scream across steel barriers
we ravage and regale
we are loud
we are one
we bleed
we see our reflections in sunglasses
we touch and press
we breathe
we twist and jump and explode
we
we walk in the dusk
through the sweat and the mud
we sit in a dirty car
and we are completely in love

summer, stop teasing me

no one walks in straight lines
when the restless flutters of May
scratch soundtracks on their windows.

Amber

wearing shorts on the front porch
the tangerine glow of
this melancholy summer
lays in layers over
the unshadowed inches of our legs
the ghosts that live in photographs
have taken their red eyes and drunken smiles
out from under the bed
and into our hands

it is too early for acorns

we snatch the light as it falls
extracting the best lines
filling our notebooks with honey and cursive
her pages like peaches
heavy and sweet and bruisable
mine like plums in a saucer of milk

even the smallest leaf is someone's blanket

our hair creates curtains
as we curve over glue sticks and twine
attaching and trapping and tying bits down
the tree shadows descend from overhead
they wrestle and collide
in butterscotch and coffee patterns on our skin

the bees sing her favorite song

and so
we climb into the sticky tree sap puddles
smearing our cheeks and elbows
and and anticipate our petrification
for someone to uncover us
legs and necks and little toes
as priceless and pristine as we feel
in the golddustsed pages of our former selves

Why I Don't Own a Dog

You look like a frightened puppy
hunched shoulders and shifting eyes.
Whispering as though i weren't watching you
circling, sniffing, marking your territory
all over my carefully cultivated garden.
A quivering yelp that sounds strangely like my name
is loosely buried under bulbs and earth
so painstakingly nurtured,
now turned over and reeking of your scent.
Watching me
as if i had a rolled up newspaper
behind my back,
or if with a swift kick, i'd call you "little bitch"
tell you to stop chewing my shoes, and wearing out the heel.
I'm sick of picking bits of your coat
out of my casseroles, and off my clothes.
As if leaving yourself all scattered over the couch
would be a pleasant reminder that you are here
to stay.

Not Anymore

I want to keep her.
That girl who is not me.
With her teeth still whole and uncracked
The skin of her thighs unstretched.
I get caught stealing backward glances in her direction
and look down ashamed while the heat of her yellow hair
cascading in the the xanthous light
still tingles
like a phantom limb against my cheek.

She still carries the kiss
On the upper-right hand corner of her lip
And her mind with its puzzling gilt boxes, each encapsulating the next
Still holds the innermost box, safe
unopened

I listen to the soft whisper of her footsteps
when i am enclosed in headphones.

She often stands silent at my shoulder
dropping strands of saffron into my tea
and wearing holes into the elbows of my sleeves
She makes the dust in the afternoon sun
glitter

But as months fall away
her golden luminance dulls
and the strands of yellow hair begin to thin.
She feels transparent, and out of place
like a lonely telephone pole
against a landscape of desert sky and joshua trees.
The more i grasp and clutch her towards me,
The more she fades into memory
This girl who is not me.
No, not anymore.